Saturday, February 27, 2010

a poll from deviantArt that was great on this lazy saturday:
http://taylorsaville.deviantart.com/journal/poll/1048537/

many thoughts run through my head. There were many beautiful thoughts in response to the poll. I think the one I feel the most aligned with is exactly the phrase "To have another to share stories and become entangled in arms."
people are so ready to judge each other while not harboring the same judgment for themselves. Swimming in the quivering sea of emotions, dramas, neuroses (of which we all are a part, I include myself), I find that the moments of compassion (a hug, a kind word, a secret smile) are pure bliss. Then, even more, to have a person in your life you so respect and adore (& whom, by coincidence, society deems acceptable for you to be with) that such daily expressions of compassion flow freely ... absolutely delicious. & I miss.

in another vein, I was raised to be a person of faith and I believed, strongly, for at least 22-25 years. I finally realized for myself that I was attending more for the other people & out of habit. Since then I've read a lot about the samurai ethos and about Buddhism. The buddhist perspective is so peaceful, playful!
buddhists often talk about how people separate things and make them distinct. We name a chair, chair. We name a tree, tree. I am here, but the house is over there, and there is a flower between us. I stand on the earth and float through space.

I would pose the question, what is a flower? a flower needs the sun's rays and CO2, then grows thereof, & adds oxygen to the sea of air that we breath into our chests. A flower IS the sun's rays, manifest differently. A flower IS the dirt, manifest differently. Breathing in and breathing out constantly, your body (read: what we define as, human) IS the blowing wind, manifest in a different atomic coagulation. I am the wind.

in this sense, continually working backwards and forwards, you can break down the common definitions and the words that we use, and realize the interconnectedness of so many things. One thing that blew my mind-- I'm not sure where the cut off is on the table of elements, but a huge percentage of the heavier elements/atoms present in our solar system were actually forged in stars outside of our solar system. i.e. our bodies, everything around us has a huge percentage of atoms that were forged in stars IN OTHER SOLAR SYSTEMS. How more interconnected can it get?

This is the long way of saying, if you break down those separate existences... if you see yourself as part of the world & universe around you, not distinct.... I don't know how you could feel anything other than complete. I have desires and things I would wish for myself, and for the society of busy humans, but if these desires are not fulfilled I will not be crushed. They are not a prerequisite of my being complete.

That being said, I chose that something is missing for sure.... because I do long for, more than those random compassions shared with people on a daily basis, someone with which to spiral into love. alas :) damn romantics and their dreams.